July 2026 – The News in Review

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July, A Month to Say
Goodbye

Welcome to the July edition of the News in Review poetry series. Once again, a lot happens in a month, and so there was far more to include than I had space to fit in this piece. (Many may argue that I still put too much in…) But I have tried to include a balance of the good, the bad, the ugly, and the fun. The month, at least for me; was overshadowed by the deaths of Bill Oddie and Bonnie Tyler, So I decided to start of with a sort of collective eulogy to those we lost over the month (And have reference to July 2025 which took Ozzie Ozborne from us among others.) but hopefully, I can lift your spirits to see than not everything in July has been heartbreak.

I will add a disclaimer that this piece was written by me; a British poet, and as such will be recording and commenting from news in a British perspective, which might mean some events you consider important from July 2026 are not included, and some things you have never heard of are more extensively covered.

Requiem for Bonnie and Bill

Death took hold of last July 
And death’s alas in great supply 
Once more this month 
As we say goodbye  
To a legend 
Or two, 
I’m thinking of you 
Bill Oddie 
That notorious Goodie 
Who’s almost single-handedly 
Responsible for my love of nature 
And of course the departure 
Of Bonnie Tyler 
Who they said was getting better 
But that husky voice will never 
Sing those songs again. 
We saw the end of Linsey Graham 
An unloved republican, 
The Murder of Ann Widdicombe 
And whatever your oppinion 
On her as a politician 
She did not deserve that 
No one deserves that…. 
Almost… 
Rest in Peace to the Ghosts 
Of football’s Kevin Keegan 
Neigbours’ Terence Donovan 
And of Young South African 
Midfielder, Jayden Adams. 
Who, days before was playing games 
At the world cup. 
Oh, and they finally shut up 
Zippy from Rainbow 
Who suffered a huge blow 
When his voice, Ronnie Le Drew 
Let this world go. 

It wasn’t all tragic though 
Since gifts of several million 
Caused Farage’s resignation 
And forced a re-election 
That yes he is expecting 
To win… 
But there’s a chance 
A decent chance 
He might be beaten by a bin 
If the people of Clacton 
Play ball, 
Wouldn’t that have us all 
In hysterics. 

It’s musical chairs in politics 
Bye to Starmer 
Hi to Burnham – 
Another unelected PM, 
Plus a Mayoral election, 
Where Labour keep position 
In Manchester 
Which became the new center  
Of the country 
(At least for one day a week), 
As Burnham moves his office North 

It’s been a busy month in sport 
As almost everyone is caught 
By World Cup fever 
(Though no one can actually afford to see the 
Event in person) 
Chants erupted across the nation 
To claim 
“It’s Coming Home” 
In the usual optimistic tone 
But really, we all should have known 
It wasn’t 
And in fact, has taken up residence 
In Spain 
As they won again. 
But still, there’s cause to celebrate 
Cuz England hit their highest place 
Since 1966 
Messi was the first to kick 
In goal number twenty 
In world cup history, 
Quickly followed by Mbappe 
Who overtakes him 
As top goalscorer. 
The world reeld in horror 
As Trump convinced Fifa 
To step in 
And overturn the decision 
Of their referees 
Because he disagrees 
with a US red card 
And Infantino shafts himself hard 
When he tried to sell football 
To line his own pockets. 

Open AI and Anthropic’s 
Robots go chaotic 
Breaking test perameters 
To hack their competitors 
without instruction. 
Nolan’s epic production 
The Odyssey 
Is released to much controversy 
Surrounding historical accuracy 
In… Yeah… a mythical fantasy… 
With harsh critique from Emily 
Wilson, 
Because it was missing 
The sex scenes she was expecting. 
Personally, I’d say that was good directing 

Work begins on re-constructing 
The World trade center 
Zambia finally declares an end to 
A year long cholera outbreak 
And Trump threatens to take 
The papers to court again 
For reporting a lack in security 
On air force one 
Claiming that there’s nothing wrong 
Even though he had to leave NATO 
In a catering van 
Because he was too scared  
to fly over Iran. 

Ther IOC lifts its ban 
On Russian atheletes 
Meaning they can compete 
In the 28 olympics 
Despite continued conflict 
In Ukraine 
Where Putin has made a claim 
Zelenski’s refuting 
Regarding the capture 
Of Kostyantynivka 
Not that he’s the only agressor 
Iran’s peace with America 
Is over 
To no one’s surprise 
And concerns arise 
Over a lack of human rights 
In Sudan. 
The former Supreme leader of Iran 
Is put to rest 
As bombs, claimed by the IS 
Hit a hotel in Damascus 
And despite cooperation from Hamas 
Israel are still on the attack. 

The world is growing charred and black 
As, not just bombs but fires track 
Disaster in a path 
Across Europe 
And it’s hard to endure it 
When drought has drained the rivers 
used to fight it. 
And yet A.I. is still supplied with 
Water by the bucket… 
By the resovior 
All to fuel a new feature. 

 
New software from Meta 
Lets users alter 
any picture 
That they desire…. 
They must have missed the bin fire 
That was Grok… 

Farage has thrown another strop 
Over pictures of a chopping block 
Printed on a comic top 
And posted onto X, 
He wants Zack Polanski’s neck 
For sharing it. 

There’s been a split 
In the catholic church 
As newly consecrated bishops 
Were against the pope’s wishes 
Gibralta ditches boarder fences 
And despair as Trump announces 
New tariffs on drugs, 
Pharmaceutical drugs… 
Whilst the cycloporiasis bug 
Is becoming a menace, 
Spread by Taco Bell’s lettuce. 

July, of course brings the tennis 
With Arthur Fery feeling bliss 
After his heroics 
Make him the best of British 
despite his minor seed 
Sinner claims victory 
In the men’s singles, for Italy 
And the women’s goes to Noskova 
The seventh seed from Czechia 
Now we’ll have to wait another year 
For strawberries and cream 
Assuming they still grow 
In this obscene 
Heat. 

Burnham, now in Downing street 
Proves himself an utter sheet, 
Declaring open season 
On the North sea 
Brazil stops animal cruelty, 
Bans Foie Gras controversially 
But still threatens the safety 
Of the Amazon 

The North Pole hosts a marathon 
And Gus goes up for auction 
At fifty million 
(Gus is the skeletan 
Of a Tyrannosaurus) 

Hosepipe bans come out to haunt us 
Bayeux’s back on Britains shores as 
The world cup kicks off for E-Sports 
Businesses let men wear shorts 
In Japan 
And I understand 
The women aren’t happy 
Claiming it’s crappy 
They have to stare 
At unshaved leg hair… 
(Just don’t look down there…?) 

Scientists have now declared 
Although they once were unaware 
There’s sugar at the center 
Of the milky way 
And I’d be criminal 
If I didn’t say 
Something about Jimothy 
Whoes antics brought some jolity 
To balance out the tragedy 
R.I.P to Bonnie 
And Bill Oddie 

Did I do July Justice?

Was there anything that you missed? Was there anything I missed and you think should have really been in there? Feel free to ask, share your thoughts, or reminisce with your comments.

Thank you for reading July 2026 – The News in Review. As with all poetry on my website, this piece is free to enjoy, however if you would like to thank me. Or want help make sure I can continue to write these news reviews. Please head over to my Ko-Fi. There you will be able to support me if you wish, either as a one off, or monthly. As well as purchase more of my poetry which is unavailable on this website.

And Of course, check back next month to read August’s Review. See if you can guess what it might contain.


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