It’s been a Wild -fire- August
Welcome to the August edition of the News in Review poetry series. Once again I tried to stuff as much into it as I possibly could. Unfortunately, I can’t include everything. A lot happens in a month, and so there was far more to going on than I had space to fit in this piece. But I have tried to include a balance of the good, the bad, the ugly, and the fun. August was a pretty bleak month, what with all the heat. I thought July was bad, but August kicked it up a notch, with wildfires wherever you could look, and even a ban on BBQs, fireworks and other outdoor fire risks. Though of course, there was some good in August too… (Though not in the Clacton Bi-election unfortunately). So hopefully the rest of the piece has got something in to smile about.
I will add a disclaimer that this piece was written by me; a British poet, and as such will be recording and commenting from news in a British perspective, which might mean some events you consider important from August 2026 are not included, and some things you have never heard of are more extensively covered.
Everything’s Burning
It’s burning,
Everything’s burning.
The world is turning
Into one big ball of flame
Everywhere it’s the same,
Europe, Asia,
The U.S, Australia.
There’s fires in Croatia
Flames across Nevada
The Cairngorms are smoking,
Cornwall’s choking,
We’re all still provoking
The climate with A.I.
As the rainforest of Borneo
Is added to the braai
And we’re forced to say goodbye
To the home of the Full Monty.
France and Spain are still ablaze,
Stourbridge has seen better days
Caught beneath the frenzied rays
Of a magnified sun.
And I have just barely begun
This list of tragedy!
Thankfully,
We did see an end
To the drought
and the heat
Long awaited relief
As rain finally came
After months of environmental distain
And what did we do?
Complain.
Welcome to the UK
In other news, the C.I.A.
Made secret trips to Russia
In hopes they could hush a
Bubbling escalation
Of the war in Europe
Attacks on Lepzig airpot
By Putin’s drones
– An attempt to sow
Dissent and fear –
The intent is clear
“Abandon Ukraine”
Well, Vladdy can think again
As Burnham calls to retain
Pressure
Finally America
Brings back sanctions.
And Putin’s opposition runs
Away, to hide in France.
A country that has just banned
Telemarketing.
So no more dreaded phone call rings
But social media’s back on the menu
After judicial review
Overturns their legislation.
Trump pissed off the entire nation
Of Canada
Declaring Lake Ontario
Will now be Lake America
And making Google reapply
Its labeling to comply
with his tantrum
The giant cuttlefish population
Takes a giant hit,
A ninety percent dip
Due to the toxic strip
Of Algae
In the seas
Of Australia
And Infantino’s faliure
Sees Fifa’s popularity plummet
Even once he’d backed down from it
Criticism at the summit
Of Snowdon
The mountains overtroden
With queues of hikers plodding
Slowly up the side to see the view
(Except for one or two,
Who refuse to queue
On a mountain.)
They weren’t the only ones waiting
On the Southward facing
Side of Mt Fuji
A father foolishly decides he
Is fed up of his son’s whining
So leaves him and continues climbing.
Only re uniting
Eight hours later…
The boy was seven
At 6000 ft of elevation…
Tik Tok trends have caused frustration
for motorists
As teenagers insist
On driving backwards
Down the motorway
And fury as the MoJ
Announced they had to pay
Eighty thousand pounds
Of taxpayers’ money
To remove a banksy
That no one wanted gone.
Trump threatens to bomb Oman
An Ally in his war against Iran
Who didn’t lend enough of a hand.
Then starts on the Faulklands
For the same reason.
Israel declares open season
On Palestinian children
As long as they’re flying kites
Apparently windy day delight
Is a threat
To national security
The “Honourable” James Cleverly
Suggests, quite ridiculously
That Burnham
Is declaring war on London
For his outrageous inclusion
Of the North
And Chicago’s favourite sport
(The Duck Derby)
Is raced.
Tik Tok admits a mistake
And pays 500 million
For child privacy violation
And A.I. breakthroughs in medication
Help with brain surgery in London
Before successfully building
A properly functioning
Virus from scratch
An organic virus…. now that’s
Kinda scary.
Things are getting hairy
In Africa
As war in Etheopia
Restarts after
Four years of fragile peace
And Israel refuses to cease
Its colonialism
Widening the schism
Between it and Europe.
Norwegians tear up
To hear of more loss.
Harold the fifth
King of their country
Did eventually
Succumb to his illness
And he’s not the only one who left us
The world was bereft as
Dolly Parton moved up to the stars
And left a hole in our hearts
Torn further apart
Whan Tim Curry passed
One day later.
We lost the voice actor
Of Eeyore
And Optimus Prime.
It was also time
For ZZ Top’s Frank Beard
(The only member that was sheared
As well as Hayden Panettiere
Who played Claire
The Cheerleader
In Heroes.
And to anyone who knows
What that means, I suppose
The world is doomed.
And finally, Jason Arday was consumed
By racism,
Lost his position
To allegations, unproven
Then his life,
When he could no longer
Bear to fight.
We all know it isn’t right
But darkness grips tight
Onto the world
The skies were furled
In shadow
The moon stealing sun’s glow
With a solar eclipse,
Then the tables were flipped
And went Lunar
For a blood moon a
Few days later.
A portent for things to come
As tragedy hits Clacton
And Binface loses the election
To an even bigger joke.
Farage’s win provokes
A re-opening
Of the case against him
Lawsuits bring a reckoning
To twitch, Bezos, and Amazon
For starting A.I. training on
Their streamers’ live transmissions
Trump is in the courtrooms too
The Media have tried to sue
For selling early access to
His Truth social confessions
Princess Eugiene gives birth
To Adelaide Elizabeth,
A massive treasure trove’s unearthed
In Belgium
Rupert Grint is playing Ron
On Broadway, whilst Kit Harrington
Is Gilderoy, now Hoult is gone
Next season.
For some reason
The Cat in the hat
Seems determined to attack
Teenagers,
Burnham wants to release Prisoners
And Labour’s sending Asylum seekers
Instructions
On how to not rape people.
That’s more than a little
Concerning…
But I guess it’s worth learning
While the world’s still turning,
But it’s not just turning,
It’s burning,
Everything’s burning…
Except the BBQs
Did I get All of August?
Was there anything that you missed? Was there anything I missed and you think should have really been in there? Feel free to ask, share your thoughts, or reminisce with your comments.
Thank you for reading May 2026 – The News in Review. As with all poetry on my website, this piece is free to enjoy, however if you would like to thank me. Or want help make sure I can continue to write these news reviews. Please head over to my Ko-Fi. There you will be able to support me if you wish, either as a one off, or monthly. As well as purchase more of my poetry which is unavailable on this website.
And Of course, check back next month to read June’s Review. See if you can guess what it might contain.
May’s News in a Poetry Pamphlet!
August’s Daily Haikews Poetry pamphlet, which features one poem per day based upon the news throughout the month. Is also now avaliable on my Ko-Fi. page, along with all previous panphlets, so Go check it out!!!