All Change!
Welcome to the September edition of the News in Review poetry series. Once again, a lot happens in a month, and so there was far more to include than I had space to fit in this piece. (Many may argue that I still put too much in…) But I have tried to include a balance of the good, the bad, the ugly, and the fun. September 2025’s main event was Starmer’s cabinet carousel, or it might be more accurate to say revolving door. But the all change in parliament wasn’t the only interesting thing to happen in September. Read on to find out more.
I will add a disclaimer that this piece was written by me; a British poet, and as such will be recording and commenting from news in a British perspective, which might mean some events you consider important from September 2025 are not included, and some things you have never heard of are more extensively covered.
The September Shuffle
It all started with a cabinet reshuffle,
A little one, nothing drastic
A small change just to help kick
Start the month,
Refresh the page
Help Stamer assuage his back benchers
Put them back in line
And on the bench,
Perhaps tackle Farage’s political dissent
Because the general public have no sense,
Boosting the polls of a wannabe dictator,
An everything but straight white male hater
Who shared his ludicrous idea
That anti-racism laws will turn us into North Korea,
Following up this ridiculous notion
By demanding his followers’ unquestioning devotion
Then distracted them by signing football shirts….
That magpie energy hurts,
Badly.
On the other side of the sea
His actions are mirrored by ICE
And Trump’s war on his own country
Deporting any nationality
That’s not white
He’s okaying internal strikes
On Illinois, Memphis, and Portland.
Leaving the whole nation stunned
By suggesting the homes of civillions
Should become military training pavilions.
As he floods the streets with masked hooligans
Except in California
Who banned masks as a uniform the
Law enforcement can use.
Oregon sues
The government for abuse
Of power
And U.S. relationships sour
with Venezuela,
When Trump declares their
Drug cartels
to be Terrorist cells
And shells civilian ships
In the Atlantic.
We all thought his health had taken a hit
Suspense filled the air,
We held our breath In hope, or despair
President Trump missed a press conference,
Is he dead?
No.
Just off playing golf instead…
Celebrating the reopening of Alligator Alcatraz
Now that his supreme court appeal has
Made racism legal in the U.S.A. once more
A fact Hyundai abhores
As ICE raids its warehouse and deports
Hundreds of workers
on an international business trip.
Lammy became deputy PM
After Rayner resigned – Cabinate reshuffles again
As protests led by Tommy Robbinson
March across London
Preaching hatred, starting violence
Announcing a new alliance
With Elon Musk
(Who unsurprisingly was just
Named upon the epsitne list;
Which we must remember doesn’t actually exist….)
The Liberal Democrats take up the fight
To claim our flags back from the far right
Ed Davey in a George cross cloak
Was not quite the symbol of hope
The anti-racism scene wanted,
But still better than anything Labor did;
For example; announcing digital ID’s
To identify future deportees
And sending an email to holders of student visas,
“Congratulation on your graduations, now leave us,
Before we arest you.”
They did recognise Palestine though,
So it’s nice to know
They at least did something
With the power we put them in
Other than seed it to reform.
Greta finds another boat,
This time part of a giant foat-illa
Gaza still her destination
She sets sail in her mobile aid station.
An agravation (Apparently)
That israel did not need
as it sends drones to attack the fleet.
It will not stop short of the complete
And absolute defeat
Of Hamas…
And by Hamas, I mean Palestine
And every single person that’s inside.
The UN officially declares Genocide
Netenyahu’s still not satisfied
Promises to divide
The spoils of war with Trump
Who uses vetos to stump
UN ceasefire demands
(All part of the plan).
More missiles pile into Qatar…
– Apparently that’ where Hamas’ leaders are-
And the U.S. finally says enough,
Agree to peace, or no more help from us.
If only that tactic worked on Russia.
Whoes triad alliance
Of communist giants
Is starting to pressure
Everyone,
Drones in Poland, Denmark, and Romania,
Bulgaria, Norway, and Estonia
Putin claims the west provoked his mainia
And blames us for the war in Ukraine
Trump threatens sanctions again
As bombs continue to rain
Upon Kiev
Something needs to be done,
And not just a visit from Prince Harry.
France is left in shock
As pigs heads appear outside mosques
Godfather style from Russian mobs
Whilst their PM gets the boot
For loosing a vote
Of confidance
He started on himself;
Due to the failing political health
Of the nation,
Leaving his successor a rocky foundation
To build from.
And another reshuffle goes on…
Gold prices hit an all-time high,
Fashion mogul Armarni dies
And covid’s back to haunt our lives once more
Trump starts a medical schism
By saying Paracetamol causes autism
Turns the D.O.D into the department of war
Then comes here, at the kings request,
Seems he was missing our protests
But says our rules feel like Shariah law…
We send him back to the U.S.A
To release the Earheart files Horary..
Wait.. They aren’t the ones that we were asking for…
Perhapse dementia’s dawning….
Then again, he was in mourning
Chirlie Kirk – His Goldfish friend – was shot
He lost the plot
Had Jimmy Kimmel cut,
(Briefly)
Till a white male Mormann owned up
And he couldn’t blame the radical left
Or as I like to call it…. The Left…
Darth vaders Lightsaber sells for millions,
An african tribe steals some Scottish woodlands,
Get ecvicted, but claim tis their homeland
And Ireland threaten to boycott Eurovision
If Israel compete…
Not that I mind if it keeps Jedwood out the hotseat.
Diolch, Croeso, and Shwmae
Stolen from our language by
The Oxfoord English Dic-tionary
Gits
They failed to beat us down…
So they’ll assimilate us now…
I never really understood cultural apropriation
But those words are Welsh, you can’t just claim them.
Trump’s Smile’s not so smug
When Europe win the ryder cup
And England top the world at women’s rugby
Scandinavia start drone delivery
And Jonny Vegas fills an art gallery
With pottery
The Royal mail’s finally making money,
Gregg wallace sues the BBC
And a new mural by banksy
About the courts covering up issues
Is covered up when the courts take issue…
Three Austrian nuns escape
The retirement home in which they were placed
Deciding to flee
Back to their nunerry
Russia hosts Not Eurovision
In which America is a competing nation
(Britain didn’t get an invitation;
Not that we’d have wanted one anyway.)
Ed sheeran releases Play,
A new bagpuss film is on the way
And Rice is grown in the UK
For the first time ever,
Proof of the upsidown weather,
Enough war.
It’s time to work together
To settle climate change forever.
Forget about who owns the technology
Providing us with clean energy
And grow up!
These petty squabbles wont matter
If the world ends
To a preventable disaster.
Is this the September you Remember?
Was there anything that you missed? Was there anything I missed and you think should have really been in there? Feel free to ask, share your thoughts, or reminisce with your comments.
Thank you for reading September 2025 – The News in Review. As with all poetry on my website, this piece is free to enjoy, however if you would like to thank me. Or want help make sure I can continue to write these news reviews. Please head over to my Ko-Fi. There you will be able to support me if you wish, either as a one off, or monthly. As well as purchase more of my poetry which is unavailable on this website.
And Of course, check back next month to read October’s Review. See if you can guess what it might contain.